The Grace of Conviction

For someone who says that she likes to write so much, I seem to have a really hard time keeping up a blog. I write in my journal often, but so far this blog thing doesn't seem to be working out.
But I do want it to work out... and I'll keep trying, keeping writing on here randomly until one day, maybe It'll become a habit and I will do it every day without even thinking about it.

I have been reading through 1 Corinthians. I've realized that there are so many books that I have really read. I can say that I have read parts of it... bits and chunks that produce conviction and wisdom and learning. But lately I have been trying to commit myself to one book... to reading one chapter of it a day and then writing and praying about what I learned. I started with Matthew... I and I got quite a ways through it (chapter 26 I believe), but then one day I decided to start reading something else lol. I guess I'll have to finish it later. 1 Corinthians is a little shorter, so maybe I'll manage to read through the entire thing before I get distracted my another book. I don't think it's wrong to stop reading one book because your attention was grabbed by another. It was actually pretty cool because the day that I decided to start reading 1 Corinthians, was a day that I really needed what was written in the 1st chapter. God works in pretty cool ways and the spirit leads us and prompts us to do things that we sometimes don't always understand, but that always makes sense after.

So today I read through chapter 3. The one thing that my heart seems to be stuck on from there is where he tells the Corinthians to imitate himself. He says, "I urge you then, be imitators of me." It actually boggles my mind... to see someone who is so confident in his likeness to Christ and his pursuit of Christ and heart for Christ... that he wants us t follow him! After all, we are called to be imitators of Christ right? I don't think Paul would tell the church to be imitators of himself unless he knew that he was doing pretty darn well. He even says earlier on in the chapter he says that he doesn't even judge himself because he is not aware of anything against himself.

Oh to have that peace of mind in regards to your own heart... to have so much confidence. I am so aware of so many things that are wrong with my heart... so many things that I need Christ to change and give me grace for. BUT. I am a firm believer that conviction is a part of grace. Because I know that if left to my own devices, I would never see the wickedness of my own heart. Conviction is a very good thing. We'll never be perfect, therefore if we are pursuing and seeking Christ like we should be everyday, the Spirit will always be convicting us of things. I start to worry when I am not being convicted anymore... it tells me I'm not doing this Christian life thing right. Something has to change.