New Blog

I got a new blog. It's pretty much exactly the same as this one... just a different email address. Check it outtt http://caitfeaver.blogspot.com/

The Grace of Conviction

For someone who says that she likes to write so much, I seem to have a really hard time keeping up a blog. I write in my journal often, but so far this blog thing doesn't seem to be working out.
But I do want it to work out... and I'll keep trying, keeping writing on here randomly until one day, maybe It'll become a habit and I will do it every day without even thinking about it.

I have been reading through 1 Corinthians. I've realized that there are so many books that I have really read. I can say that I have read parts of it... bits and chunks that produce conviction and wisdom and learning. But lately I have been trying to commit myself to one book... to reading one chapter of it a day and then writing and praying about what I learned. I started with Matthew... I and I got quite a ways through it (chapter 26 I believe), but then one day I decided to start reading something else lol. I guess I'll have to finish it later. 1 Corinthians is a little shorter, so maybe I'll manage to read through the entire thing before I get distracted my another book. I don't think it's wrong to stop reading one book because your attention was grabbed by another. It was actually pretty cool because the day that I decided to start reading 1 Corinthians, was a day that I really needed what was written in the 1st chapter. God works in pretty cool ways and the spirit leads us and prompts us to do things that we sometimes don't always understand, but that always makes sense after.

So today I read through chapter 3. The one thing that my heart seems to be stuck on from there is where he tells the Corinthians to imitate himself. He says, "I urge you then, be imitators of me." It actually boggles my mind... to see someone who is so confident in his likeness to Christ and his pursuit of Christ and heart for Christ... that he wants us t follow him! After all, we are called to be imitators of Christ right? I don't think Paul would tell the church to be imitators of himself unless he knew that he was doing pretty darn well. He even says earlier on in the chapter he says that he doesn't even judge himself because he is not aware of anything against himself.

Oh to have that peace of mind in regards to your own heart... to have so much confidence. I am so aware of so many things that are wrong with my heart... so many things that I need Christ to change and give me grace for. BUT. I am a firm believer that conviction is a part of grace. Because I know that if left to my own devices, I would never see the wickedness of my own heart. Conviction is a very good thing. We'll never be perfect, therefore if we are pursuing and seeking Christ like we should be everyday, the Spirit will always be convicting us of things. I start to worry when I am not being convicted anymore... it tells me I'm not doing this Christian life thing right. Something has to change.

"She Works Hard for the... [passion?]"

So it's been awhile.
Sorry to those of you who grew accustomed to reading my ramblings and other thoughts.
But I've been inspired! Yay :)

I guess I just wanted to tell everyone how sick and tired I am... of myself. Sick of my lack of passion for the One I claim to be so passionate about. Tired of my desire remaining so unchanged, my flame burnt out.

I'm home for for what seems like the rest of my life. I know I won't be here forever, but in this house, where my heart constantly feels broken, it's hard to see a time when I'll have my own family, my own husband to make a marriage with, and eventually children who I can raise into godly men and women. Here I just feel stuck under a heavy rain cloud that just won't blow away no matter how aggressive the wind is.

But I was reading today, In Exodus because I'm forcing myself into the Old Testament no matter how scared I am of it, and I was reminded of the necessity to set my life apart from the world and for God. My home here with my brothers and my parents is filled with the world- worldly words, actions, music... the list could go on. It's no wonder I just want to close my eyes and wait for everything to "get fixed." But nothing gets fixed on its own... each of us has to move and work towards something greater, something more wonderful. First we have to chose to set our lives apart for God.

Easy right? Thing is... we can't stop there. We can't just intellectually make a choice and then ta-da our lives are perfect. A changed heart takes time and devotion. I want my desire to grow? I need to FEED IT. I want my passions to stir? I need to DIVE into the Spirit who can stir them. If I want my flame to re-ignite, I need to provide a spark... and I trust that the Holy Spirit, given as a helper to be my Jesus Christ (because he knew we needed it!) will burst my heart into flames of passion and excitement and love for the One desire to be so passionate about. The one to whom I owe my life.

I want to grow; feed me. Lord Jesus.

England!!

April 14, 2010

Dear Friend,

This spring, I have an opportunity of a lifetime to serve God, but I need your help to make it a reality. I have been approved to be a part of a mission trip/team through ABWE Canada – Across Boarders for World Evangelism, in partnership with Heritage College and Seminary to the country of England for 18 days from May 21 2010 to June 8, 2010.

My mission team will be helping Stechford Baptist Church in Birmingham to run a five-day holiday Bible club for children. For the remainder of the days our team will be helping with the planning and promoting of the club, as well as door-to-door evangelism in a prominently Muslim community.

This is a serious journey that I am taking. I will have the privilege of working with an amazing group of people, submerged in a culture very different from our own. I will be challenged in many ways, but I am excited for what God has ahead as I trust Him, rely on Him to use me, and share The Gospel with people who have not yet come to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.

The ministry expenses of this trip are $1400.00. This will cover the cost of my flight, supplies, room and board, as well as transportation once I have arrived in England. I will be working diligently to raise the required ministry expenses through donations and some team fund-raising events.

There are various ways that you can partner with me in this worthwhile, short-term experience. If you would like to become a financial partner to help me raise the necessary ministry funds, please send a donation by check payable to: ABWE CANADA at the address below. It is very important that you include “England – Heritage College Team” on the memo line. You can tag my name on it as well- know that any funds you donate will be used to support me personally in going on this journey, not my team as a whole.

Donation by credit card can be processes on-line by visiting: www.abwe.ca - “donate.”
The first half of my expenses must be in by April 7, 2010 in order for me to be given departure clearance—this is when my flight ticket will be purchased. The second half must be in by May 7, 2010.

Even if you are not able to participate financially, I would value your support through words of encouragement and a commitment to pray for me. I am very eager to be used by God in this way.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter and to consider how you can partner with me as my team and I prepare for this amazing opportunity.

My utmost for His Highest,

Caitlyn Feaver

(Email) caitlyn.feaver@gmail.com. (Phone) 519-591-5494

Statement of Accountability: Spending of funds is confined to board approved programs and projects. Each restricted contribution designated towards a board-approved program or project will be used as designated, with the understanding that when the need for such a program or project has been met, or cannot be completed, the remaining contribution designated for such program or project will be used where needed most.

ABWE CANADA: #34-980 Adelaide Street South, London, Ontario N6E 1R3
Phone: 519.690.1009     Fax: 519.690.1618     Info/Donate: www.abwe.ca                                                        

                                          email: office@abwecanada.org