Here we go...

I've never done this before. It all seems kind of weird to me... writing so anyone can read it. I'm not even sure anyone will read it.
It's freeing in a sense though. This way I can let it all out. Whatever 'it' is.
I've always kept journals, but somehow this is different. We'll see how it goes.

The past week hasn't been a very good one for me. I got fired... for the first time in my life. It's disheartening and the reason behind it brings many questions to my mind. I won't go into details because I will only end up upsetting myself. We don't want that. I just wonder if they care. If they care that I'm a starving student who has to pay rent, bills, and buy food. I was so comfortable... with no worries. Maybe this is God trying to get my attention. If it is, Oh Lord! Please help me get through this. I'm so confused. I'm being told what to do by so many different people. But I know that this is something I have to do on my own... with help an imput from those I love, but ultimately the decision's mine isn't it? I just hate disappointing people. Do I stay in Cambridge? Do I come home and try to find a job in Barrie? What if I don't even find a job? What if I don't have enough money for school in the fall? Breathe...

I guess this is where God comes in, isn't it? This is the part where I trust Him. But it's so hard to trust Him when everything inside me is screaming... when all I feel like doing is pulling the covers over my head and crying my heard out.
Trust trust trust. Jesus, help me trust You! Please give me wisdom. Help me be brave, be strong, be whatever I need to be in the moment.