The Scary Truth...

Move in day is tomorrow and I am SO excited, haha! I can't wait for all the people to get here. It's weird because I never actually realized how much I love being with people until this past summer... when there were no people, or very few people. I don't like dorm being so empty... it feels weird. I can't wait for late nights and gut-busting laughs.

I know that I told you about my roommates earlier, but it's been changed around since then, so I figure I should tell ya'll again. I'm still rooming with Robyn, but now Megan gets her own room and Alysha is rooming with a girl named Erica. Lou's still my RA :) I realized that there are A LOT of people coming who are from Barrie. Like a lot a lot. It's actually ridiculous, but pretty cool at the same time. I found out that a guy named Josh, who is also from my church is coming...

So now training week is over and as selfish as it may sound, I am SO glad. But God's taught me a lot this week about selfishness because I have been SO selfish. I moped around a lot this week, feeling sorry for myself because I was all alone and everyone else was out doing stuff. I started the week off thinking that it would be a perfect time to spend lots of time with God and I ended up struggling a lot with doing it. But I'm thankful that all those feelings of jealousy and sadness forced me to find comfort and support in God. I know that if I hadn't relied on Him, I would have had a HORRIBLE week... it was hard enough as it was... imagine if I hadn't asked God for his strength and love and comfort.

Today before I started reading, I asked God to give me a desire to read His Word. Right now it's like a have to force myself, although it's getting easier and I find that once I start reading, I don't want to stop and I end up reading a lot more than I had planned to! I'm thankful for that and it's evidence that God's spirit is working in me as I learn more about Him. I really want to come to a place where I feel that my day is not complete, or right without having read God's word. So I asked Him to give that to me... to fill me and to give me a passion, a desire for His Word.

I read the first three chapters in 1 Corinthians today. Because I have been thinking about my family a lot lately--the ones who have become lost, and the ones who have never been saved--this verse grabbed my heart and saddened me with it's scary truth:

"For the Word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." vs 18 in chapter one.

I've decided that I don't like that word. Perishing. Perish. It's so scary thinking about the people I love and where they'll end up because they don't know Christ like I know Christ. But it's what I need to motivate me... to ask God to use me in saving my family. But talking to them also terrifies me because just like verse 18 says, they all think the Truth is stupid, silly stories that don't matter. And they could all talk circles around me. I need to pray for boldness and for words.

That's all for now.
xo

Seminary

So right now I am sitting in a big house that is not mine, all by myself. Ashleigh, who is living off campus this year, had me over for a sleepover last night... so here I am :) She has a meeting at the school this morning with one of her profs, so that is why I am by myself. I came over here last night and we watching a movie and ate lots of food. Chocolate covered cranberries and this artichoke dip that Ash is so very good at making-- it's delicious!

Have you ever seen My Gig Fat Greek Wedding? If you haven't, I advise you to see it because you will pee your pants laughing. Or maybe you won't... maybe it just made me laugh because her big Greek family reminds me so much of my big Italian family. Everyone is so loud, in each other's face all the time... eating and eating and eating, lol. Anyway, you should watch it, it's a good movie.

So the week hasn't been as bad as I thought it was going to be. Thank God, I've had people come see me and people invite me over to their house for sleepovers :) Kristyn and Candice have been here the last couple of days. They came to hang out on Monday, and then they came again on Tuesday. Yesterday I was alone for a bit, but I think that was a goof thing. It gave me time to really think about God and spend some time with Him. I think He's trying to teach me a lot about relying on Him and trusting in His love for me. I worry too much!

I'm slowly coming to terms with some feelings that I've been having. The only word that I can use to describe this feeling is jealously, which is a word and consequently I feeling that I don't like very much. I don't know... I guess I feel like this because Corey's here, but I don't get to spend any time with him. And there's all these other people who do. He's going through this training, and learning and growing so much and I don't get to be a part of it... and I want to be a part of it and it frustrates me that I'm not. And so I feel jealous. But I was talking to Ashleigh the other day about it, and she just reminded me that I need to be praying for Corey instead of moping around in a pool of jealousy. I need to pray that God would continue to work in him and prepare him for this busy year ahead. I guess I just feel really left out of it all, but I know that I really shouldn't.

To be honest, I'm kind of scared of this year to come. Last year was hard enough with Corey being so busy school and being an RA... now he's in seminary. Last year I felt like he didn't have time for me, but I know that things have changed... he has changed and I hope and pray that time will be made for us. I'm just scared...

Ashleigh just got home, so I think I'm going to end it here...
Yup, that's all for now!