I must have confidence.

As I read on in Hebrews I am struck by yet another conviction of truth and pure love. Often times I think of the word conviction and it sounds so harsh. A lot of people, including myself sometimes, think that being convicted of something is a bad feeling... on that isn't wanted. But as I sit here, alone in my room, and as I slowly turn through God's pages, searching for food... I am able to thank God for the wonderful gift of the Holy Spirit. Convictions are good. Conviction is evidence of my growth and learning, and that is so exciting to me.

Now on to talking about what it was that I was so convicted of. It's not really something huge I don't think. Or even something that I have spent a lot of time thinking about in the past. I was convicted of my lack of confidence in Christ and in what everything about Him means for me. When I feel guilty or ashamed before God because of my sin it's because I don't have confidence that I am so forgiven and so pure before Him because of what Christ did for me. Hebrews 10:19 says:

"Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus..."  

Because of Christ's blood shed on the cross for MY sins... I should have confidence because I am made righteous and pure. I am forgiven, God doesn't remember my sin... so why all this guilt? Why do I feel worthless and dirty in light of a God who calls me His beautiful, loved child? Help me Lord. Help me to understand the depth of your love for me. Engrave Your lovely name on my heart.

A couple last few verses just because I loved them so much as I read over the words, and because they have taken ahold of my selfish, stubborn heart...

"Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let is consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Hebrews 10:22-25 

On another note... Christmas is almost here! 5 more sleeps :) I'm so exciting to spend time with my family laughing and eating and just loving each other. That's what I love doing.

The past few years have been kind of confusing as far as when we celebrate with who goes. Ever since I was little my family has celebrated Christmas with my dad's side on Christmas eve at my nana's house. We'd go over there after church that night and hang out, eat and give presents. My nana died a few years ago though, so things have changed. It's kinda sad, but that's what happens in life. I was thinking about how hard it's going to be to work visiting and stuff out when I get married. What happens if our families celebrate on the same day? We will have to choose... that will be difficult I think.
Anyways, Christmas day is always spent at my Zia's (aunt's) house with my mom's side of the family. It's a lot different, but I love it just the same.

After all the hustle and bustle has died down after christmas things will start to get really boring I bet. Come January I think I'll be really anxious to go back to school, but I have to try and keep myself busy so I don't get stir crazy...

ANYWAY... I think that's all for now.
I'll write soon I'm sure
Cait xo   

 

 

God's Love Language.

Today I was reading a few verses in Hebrews about forgiveness and Christ's blood being the ultimate sacrifice and for some reason I started thinking about Abraham and God asking him to sacrifice his son Isaac.

I thought about how ready and willing Abraham was to obey God in anything that He asked him to do. How difficult that must have been for him, how torn his heart must have been. Or maybe... maybe his heart wasn't torn at all. Perhaps he was so in love with his Lord and creator that it wasn't hard for him at all. His sovereign God was asking him to do something--why should he have to think twice about it.

Yet I sit here when God asks me to do things because it seems to be so difficult for me to just obey though what he requires of me is so small and easy compared to what God asked Abraham. I don't do things God asks of me because I am too tired, or it takes too much time or work. God sacrificed His only Son for me, who am I to not give Him some of my time--ALL of my time? That every waking moment of my life would be glorifying to Him.

I know and believe that God is more important than anything or anyone... it's just living it out that seems to be impossible for me. But I know it's not impossible if I would just look to Him for help, strength and guidance. When I get distracted I need His Holy Spirit to tug at my heart, gently reminding me of what's more important.

My prayer for myself, and for you... whoever you are... is that the Lord would give us Grace to to love Him more than we love anyone or anything, and Grace to put our relationship with Him above any other relationship.

God be the center of my world.

Babysitting Two Little Cutie-Pies!

So semester one is over finally and it feels so good! I haven't really been all that motivated this semester for a vasriety of reasons, none of which are good reasons. I guess I just felt that there was no point in my being in the classes I was in because they were for a program that I switched out of.
I finished though (I don't know how well), and I am excited for this long break and for the semester to come... I get to take Bible classes next semester. Can you imagine? Bible classes at a Bible school!? Who woulda thunk it? In some ways I'm scared because I know it's going to be a challenge for me, but that's also the part that excites me. I've never really been challenged and I know that's what I need in order to keep growing... and I just want to keep growing!

I'm at a friend's house right now babysitting her two little girls, Elly and Autumn. They are adorable! However trying to get them ready for bed and actually in bed, sleeping has made me realize what a challenge being a mom is going to be! I've babysat Elly before and I didn't find it too stressful, but add another baby and it's a whole other ball game. I have a new respect for young moms... babies are hard work--and these weren't even my own and it's only for one night! They're such a joy though and along with the stress I can also see where the joy is. Elly's three and she says the funniest things that you would never expect her to know about let alone talk about! I have my nosed pierced and I am wearing a ring in it right now. Elly looks at me while I was reading her a story and interrups to say, "you have a hole in your nose." I smiled at her and told her what it was. Then she said, "It's a ring. That means you can get married." HAHA. Cutest little girl. And she kept telling me how much she likes me and that she loves me and wants me to stay... bless her little heart. I love her to pieces.

So being her, babysitting, means that I'm home in Barrie now. I can't say that I'm too excited about that. I love my family, I do... and I miss them, but sometimes I hate being in my house. My brothers just make everything crazy and all I ever hear is arguing and swearing and yelling. I hate it and just don't want to be there when it's going on... which is a lot of them time.

But God has been and will contimue to be faithful, as always. He gives me strength and answers my prayers and holds me when I cry.
At the moment though I'm quite happy. Something very exciting happened yesterday and I will tell you about it soon...

Okay. I think that's all for now.
Peace out.