I must have confidence.

As I read on in Hebrews I am struck by yet another conviction of truth and pure love. Often times I think of the word conviction and it sounds so harsh. A lot of people, including myself sometimes, think that being convicted of something is a bad feeling... on that isn't wanted. But as I sit here, alone in my room, and as I slowly turn through God's pages, searching for food... I am able to thank God for the wonderful gift of the Holy Spirit. Convictions are good. Conviction is evidence of my growth and learning, and that is so exciting to me.

Now on to talking about what it was that I was so convicted of. It's not really something huge I don't think. Or even something that I have spent a lot of time thinking about in the past. I was convicted of my lack of confidence in Christ and in what everything about Him means for me. When I feel guilty or ashamed before God because of my sin it's because I don't have confidence that I am so forgiven and so pure before Him because of what Christ did for me. Hebrews 10:19 says:

"Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus..."  

Because of Christ's blood shed on the cross for MY sins... I should have confidence because I am made righteous and pure. I am forgiven, God doesn't remember my sin... so why all this guilt? Why do I feel worthless and dirty in light of a God who calls me His beautiful, loved child? Help me Lord. Help me to understand the depth of your love for me. Engrave Your lovely name on my heart.

A couple last few verses just because I loved them so much as I read over the words, and because they have taken ahold of my selfish, stubborn heart...

"Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let is consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Hebrews 10:22-25 

On another note... Christmas is almost here! 5 more sleeps :) I'm so exciting to spend time with my family laughing and eating and just loving each other. That's what I love doing.

The past few years have been kind of confusing as far as when we celebrate with who goes. Ever since I was little my family has celebrated Christmas with my dad's side on Christmas eve at my nana's house. We'd go over there after church that night and hang out, eat and give presents. My nana died a few years ago though, so things have changed. It's kinda sad, but that's what happens in life. I was thinking about how hard it's going to be to work visiting and stuff out when I get married. What happens if our families celebrate on the same day? We will have to choose... that will be difficult I think.
Anyways, Christmas day is always spent at my Zia's (aunt's) house with my mom's side of the family. It's a lot different, but I love it just the same.

After all the hustle and bustle has died down after christmas things will start to get really boring I bet. Come January I think I'll be really anxious to go back to school, but I have to try and keep myself busy so I don't get stir crazy...

ANYWAY... I think that's all for now.
I'll write soon I'm sure
Cait xo